Writer of these fics. Fan of that stuff. →
Eclectic. Cacophonous. Hodgepodge.

Queer white Canadian. Fic writer. Coffee addict. Exceptionally talkative.

Shit I like changes. Here it is:


My fics I like best:

All I Want - (Pacific Rim - Newt/Hermann) tw: childhood sexual abuse, developing relationship (15,598 words)

Before You Go… - (The Big Bang Theory - Howard/Raj) episode fix-it, friends to lovers (1755 words)

The Comfortable Shoes Conundrum - (The Big Bang Theory - Bernadette coming out) drama, angst (3153 words)

Sick - (Deep Space Nine - Garak/Bashir) established relationship, colds (495 words)

November - (dueSouth - Vecchio/Fraser) drama, angst (1498 words)

 

Separated cats at 2 am for chasing each other. Reunited five hours later, they pick up right where they left off.

Why prevention is nowhere near enough to protect women

Every oppressed person knows what NOT to do in order to survive. It’s a long list, and we all know it, because if it’s not been told to us as a way to stay safe, it’s been created by us as a way to oppress others.

But there’s an easy way to sum it all up: we should opt-out of choices that are available to those who are not oppressed.

And despite putting your life on hold, it doesn’t make the oppression disappear. You can take all the steps and still suffer violence. And so you get frustrated as hell and you either turn that frustration inward and conform or kill yourself, or you turn it outward, in non-productive ways that allow the systems of oppression to stay in place (and at worse you begin to replicate it in destructive ways), or in productive ways that allow you to thrive.

But better to not fully participate in life rather than put ourselves at risk.

As if we are the ones creating the conditions for our own demise.

No one’s going to like this analogy, but I’m going to use it anyway:

Would you tell a child to stop looking so seductive to the eyes of a paedophile?

(Told you no one would like it.)

But if you could bring yourself to say that, then by all means continue the conversation on prevention.

But you don’t even have to - it carries on regardless. We already know what *not* to do. We’re not stupid - we’ve been told a million times: don’t dress ‘provocatively’, guard your sexual ‘reputation’, watch your drink, don’t drink, don’t flirt, don’t walk alone - a long list of don’ts.

And we’ve been told by our fathers, our mothers, our uncles, our teachers, news, movies, magazines, books, websites - everywhere we turn we’re being told that we’re making ourselves the victims.

So please don’t presume that we don’t already know.

We know what NOT to do very well. We know what to do to survive.

And that’s what we’re talking about here. We’re sick of just surviving in hostile conditions - we’re shouting out to change those conditions so that we may be allowed to thrive.

Still, people choose not to listen. It’s easier to tell others what to do instead of checking one’s own privilege.

And the more we turn the conversation around and stop focussing on the exploitation, the more the real conversation gets silenced and the status quo is reinforced.

Every. Single. Time.

But there are a few who will not be silenced by others or even by the exhaustion that comes from saying the same things over and over with people who still don’t listen, and they will persevere, and will continue to say that it’s the culture that needs to be changed.

Because if it doesn’t, nothing will ever change.

Anonymous asked
Why do you?

Why not?

uh… wat? oh. right.

when you remember what idiots also hang out on the internet

haunted shatterdomes: the corridor | pacific rim

Haunted Shatterdomes: The Corridor (2,106 words)

The scratching at the door was more forceful, and nearly as frantic. It stopped as soon as Tendo came near. He jumped when he heard a clang against from the other side, three times, a metallic knocking. He took a step closer and knocked back twice. A chill ran down his spine as his rhythm was echoed.

(I’m still writing, it’s just coming a lot more slowly recently, sorry!)


Superman, black would be the coolest dude in the world. Imagine Sam Jackson in a cape. Running around. That would be a good movie.
I think what a lot of people don’t get is, these people aren’t real. If you cast a black dude as John F Kennedy, that’s wrong. If you cast a white dude as Martin Luther King, that’s wrong. These people aren’t real. The suits aren’t real. There aren’t really superheroes in the world.
At some point in time, you have to steep yourself in reality and say, ‘hey, it’s not about what they look like, it’s about casting a good actor in the role. If you’re sitting at home and you can’t see a black guy as Nick Fury, maybe there’s something wrong with you.

(Though the whole ‘just a good actor’ argument can so easily backfire on itself - good actor + representation, inclusion, that’s how to see it!)

Superman, black would be the coolest dude in the world. Imagine Sam Jackson in a cape. Running around. That would be a good movie.

I think what a lot of people don’t get is, these people aren’t real. If you cast a black dude as John F Kennedy, that’s wrong. If you cast a white dude as Martin Luther King, that’s wrong. These people aren’t real. The suits aren’t real. There aren’t really superheroes in the world.

At some point in time, you have to steep yourself in reality and say, ‘hey, it’s not about what they look like, it’s about casting a good actor in the role. If you’re sitting at home and you can’t see a black guy as Nick Fury, maybe there’s something wrong with you.

(Though the whole ‘just a good actor’ argument can so easily backfire on itself - good actor + representation, inclusion, that’s how to see it!)

growth and accountability and history

b-binaohan:

one of the things that happens, esp. if you’ve been participating in some kind of community (but esp. an online one) is that ppl fuck up. more specifically, there are some who fuck up in a big way and get themselves put on other ppl’s lists as

“remember that person who did the thing?”

and it’ll come up every so often. and ppl will be like

“hey, i’m seeing person x on my dash/TL again, aren’t they the person who did this incredibly fucked up thing? did they apologize?”

this’ll happen bc many of us, you know, tend to stop associating with ppl who’ve hurt us. so it can be jarring to suddenly see their name one year later.

when this happens ppl will always be ‘omg, people grow. ppl do fucked up shit. learn. and grow. but you keep bringing up this thing that happened five years ago’

its an interesting dynamic.

first. bc of the same old double standards. regardless of which camp you belong to, there is likely someone you know that, on a regular basis, has a post like this made about them (ie “remember when they did this thing and never apologized?”). i have friends AND enemies on tumblr/twitter/whatever who this happens to. it literally happens to ANYONE with enough notoriety that ppl will watch everything they do. but what i often see is that ppl will usually say “it is okay when ~the past~ is brought up for this person, but not that one”. interestingly, i’ve noticed that the people whose pasts are eternally relevant and need to be brought up if they so much as SNEEZE are, um, ppl usually oppressed along several axes. This def. happens to qt Black ppl. and most qtpoc that i know. but ur favourite cis white blogger? ur favourite het man? “why can’t u let the past stay in the past, that was soooooo long ago”

second. the interesting thing i’ve noticed about the ppl who TRULY attempt to grow, learn, and make up for their fuckups usually don’t deny what happened. they’ve made some kind of apology somewhere. they also, and this is important, don’t usually give a fuck when their past harms are brought up. indeed, these ppl will OFTEN talk about this past without provocation. “i used be super fat phobic a few years ago, but i’ve been learning better” (this is actually ME. i’ve said this)

its weird. we can talk ALL DAY long about the necessity of addressing shit that happened hundreds of years ago, whose legacy and ongoing life we grapple with today, but somehow we are just supposed to forgive and forget someone who hurt us a year ago? five? ten? why should things work like this?

how can u claim to have ‘learned’ from your mistakes if you refuse to own the fact that YOU made them? that you HURT people and that there may be spaces/ppl who will never welcome you and will always remind and remember the harm that you’ve caused.

after my most recent anti-Black fuck up, i have zero expectations that the person i harmed will ever talk to directly to me again. why should they? i also think they would have EVERY right to put me down on some list of anti-Black pilipinas. simple truth. and if, for their friends and ppl they cared about, they were to tell those ppl to avoid me bc of my anti-Blackness…

why the fuck is it a problem that they would take steps to protect themselves AND the ppl they care aobut from someone who has already prooved that they are harmful/unsafe?

i do hope that i’m growing and learning and working to dismantle my anti-Blackness so i don’t fuck up like that again, but my growth and work isn’t dependent on their specific validation. if in 10 years from now, we somehow bump into each other and they are like “oh, i remember you, you’re the fucking asshole who barged into a conversation about anti-Blackness and talked over me” all i can do is shrug, say yes, maybe apologize if they let me, and walk away.1

so growth. and accountability.

what of it?


  1. not that this person is likely to remember me, since i’m a fairly insignificant person and definitely not self-involved enough to think that they would remember me. thing is, i was just YET another anti-Black shithead they had to deal with. nothing AT ALL special or interesting about that.

hobbitkaiju:

sandyfarquhar:

i’ve posted this video before and it still means the world to me

sister wendy, public tv art history nun, talks about art and blasphemy, specifically about “piss christ,” and calls it “comforting art”

she draws a distinction between art that comforts and art that doesn’t, and comforting art is “easy to react to”

"piss christ" is comforting art, even when it’s considered blasphemy, because it’s easy to react to—you pretty much know that it’s either a horrible ungodly blasphemy or it’s an "admonitory" commentary on the degraded status of Christ’s sacrifice in our sinful world 

just posting it to remind myself that not all art needs to be easy to react to, and because i love nuns

I grew up with Sister Wendy and I’m pretty sure she’s one of the reasons I became the artist I am. <3

I would subtitle this clip On the complexity of thinking. It’s fantastic. Go in, give it a watch!

Don’t shoot the messenger… it’s noisy and will alert people to your crime.

If you’ve got a go-to song that still holds up more than fifteen years after it was first written, that you title fic after, that sort of sums up how you feel in a certain frame of mind, then I suppose you could say that was your favourite song.

This is mine.

repress:

Do you ever want to talk to someone but

1) You feel like you’re bothering them or coming off clingy
2) You don’t have anything to say, you just want to talk to them
3) You don’t know how to hold a conversation to save your life 

I finally said ‘fuck it’ and talked to them anyway. :D The ones who don’t want to be talked to will make it known, but for the most part, everyone is feeling like this. Go on, make the first move!